When I cleaned swimming pools in L.A., I was amazed how little they were utilized. The wealthy and famous need some insulation and the cost of building and maintaining a pool is simply chump change to them. However, to both those who cannot afford a pool and those who don’t require privacy, private pools have significant social opportunity costs.

Suburban life is often isolating. Where can youngsters find common play where they can develop friendships that last? We all know that bored teenagers are fertile ground for trouble. Indeed, recreation is probably the most cost-effective method of reducing crime.

The Hamptons, of course, and much of Long Island, are blessed with magnificent beaches and they function as social magnets. However, not all communities are so blessed, and it is my contention that even the Hamptons would benefit from public facilities where people can socialize. I know several “summer people” who hang around their pools, never meeting anyone other than invited guests. Many of these people would enjoy developing friendships with other summer people—as well as locals.

Port Jefferson has a village country club where very different economic and educational levels mix. Status is as much determined by tennis or golf ranking as by possessions. Many enduring friendships have been formed there. Recently, one of the club’s biggest ball-busters had cancer and had limited insurance. A benefit was held for him at the club and over 400 people showed up. I was moved to tears by how the club bonded people who might be strangers otherwise.

Many psychologists see families who have very few common activities. It is often stultifying for parents to go to children’s activities, but where else can they take their youngsters to meet other kids? The common way for parents to meet each other is through the associations that their children make, showing that activities geared towards families strengthen family bonds among kin and with other families to boot.

We Americans may be proud of our individualism and possessions. Yet, few of us love the expense and work required to maintain the pool. In Heidelberg, I watched how families spread their blankets and shared their wurst and beer with other families, teenagers flirted with one another, little children splashed each other, and all had fun in a gorgeous park with three different pools. I felt that Americans, with all our wealth, are often socially impoverished by our stubborn individualism and empty private pools.